Here I am, here I’ll stay

It’s been a month since I set out to find my happy and address the negatives in my life. It was a hard road but it was worth it. The Hoffman Institute is a life saver, that’s one thing for sure. One week of focusing on just me, listening to me, trusting me, growing and learning how to love me. I didn’t realize how poorly I had been taking care of myself. Truth be told, I wasn’t even trying to take care of myself. I worked hard, followed the guidelines, are amazing food, made incredible connections, learn helpful tools, and buried all of my shame. It was liberating. Truly. To find me again, my true, authentic self. I have power and strength I never knew was in me. I have to work on it every day but that’s why it’s worth it, because I’m worth it. Always have been, always will be. Every day is going to be different, old challenges, new challenges, bad habits, new choices, new view. It’s been a month. I’ve struggled, I’ve tripped and fallen down but I get back up. I used to dig a hole and not even try. Not one ounce of give a damn. Nowadays it’s a different story, I get back up and try again. 

So between discovering dryrot in our half bath in the middle of just wanting to paint the walls, baking my butt off to try new foods and baked goods, starting my own from scratch baked goods from my own kitchen, prepping for my husband to make his way to California so he can do The Process himself, gearing up for my 30th birthday next month and celebrating with my family, and just trying to get through the days without going to crazy, I think I’m doing pretty damn good at the moment. I just keep telling myself: I’m worth it, I’m human, I’ll make mistakes, I’m still lovable, I’m still worth it. This is my life, I’m responsible for it and no one else. 

I better get back to reality, still in the process of cleaning the upstairs and organizing every room near me, and carpool is calling. 

My chin is up and I can’t stop smiling 

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